There’s no way of summing up the feeling of when your team loses in the first week of the tournament. Like blowing your months-in-the-planning Cheltenham acca in the first race. Somewhere between a profanity fuelled rant and puffing your breath out in a “what you gonna do?” disappointment. But we must steel our resolve. There’s still a cup to pay for, and some great rugby #content to deliver.
Sorry for the late delivery as well – you can have this one free of charge. I’ll also apologise to England fans now – I was quite drunk during that game, so all I really recall is people running into each other. I was surprised to discover anyone had scored.
1. “Can you turn the sound on the football?”
“No”
“But the Six Nation isn’t on yet. They’re just watching the Under 20s”
“And?”
God bless the Faltering Fullback. Although it was very crowded and I got stuck for the second half wedged by some of the worst Irish fans going. Small tip – shouting “IRA” in the gaps between the chorus on Fields of Athenry and telling people to fuck off when they’re trying to go to the loo (which you’re stood in the door way of) and you might not find someone as keen as myself to give you a stern word rather than a kicking.
We then decanted to the Old Dairy, where the only space was directly in front of the big screen. I spotted a man in the crowd. Jowly fella. Barbour jacket. Shouting “every time ref” at nothing particular. You can see him can’t you. I decided I hated this guy. Hated. I kept pointing him out to my mates, every time he moved his head I could not help but seethe. By chance he found himself at the bar near us, and commented on our squad’s collection of Ireland and Scotland shirts. He informed us he was from Dundalk. He told my wife he loved her and kissed her on the cheek. He then turned to me and said “I love you too” and kissed me on the lips for an extended period of time.
I bloody love the Six Nations.
2. I’ll start with Scotland as otherwise I’ll post a load of bile about Ireland and they will not get due credit. Ireland didn’t play well, at all, but that’s not to take anything away from Scotland who totally had their opponents number from the get go.
First up, Scotland’s rush defence, especially in the first half, was really exceptional. They put the Irish line under constant pressure, which combined with Ireland’s lack of intensity at the breakdown mean they were able to force turnover and broken play. This played neatly for their backline who determined to properly throw devil to the wind (is that a saying?) and run from anywhere. They were also much smarter; it was particularly galling to see Scotland doing little “dark arts” things like pushing players over before they join rucks, and just taking it. We usually do the naughty things to people!
Secondly, how Scotland used their ball. Ireland had double the amount of clean breaks (6 vs 12) in the game which having watched the game just seemed bizarre. But because of Scotland’s intensity of defence, a lot of Ireland’s line break were in close quarters. Scotland conversely were able to suck in Irish defenders to breakdowns seemingly at will and manufactured overlaps such as for Hogg’s first try easily, allowing them to exploit the pace of their back three against Ireland’s very flat footed backline.
Finally, Scotland weathered an absolutely brutal storm and took their chance. Lads, when I said you had to win a close win to break the habit in my preview I didn’t mean against us! Like Wales or England guys. Ireland stepped up in the second half, and it must have taken a huge toll – they made 90 more tackles than Ireland. Around the 63rd minute the Scottish players looked dead on their feet. With about ten minutes to go, with Ireland dominant, I clapped my palms together in an up and down motion. “Job done”. Except I looked at the score board and we were still only 1 point up. Scotland gathered themselves, manufactured an opportunity, and then masterfully bogged the game down in Ireland’s third to kill the game off. A well deserved victory.
During the game I thought “A team with a better wide attack than us will cause this Scotland team a lot of problems”. Then every other team looked pretty average, so Scotland Grand Slam I guess
3. That line out try. I’m going to go bald early. Everyone else seemed to love it but bloody hell – the inside centre is standing in the fecking line out – anyone think perhaps they should mark or cover him? Anyone at all?
4. Ireland. Jaysus. Argentina quarter final part 2. That first half was unacceptably poor. Schmidt’s game plan requires a high level of accuracy. When it works, you beat the All Blacks; when players fail to execute the requisite level of accuracy, we lose. That I can accept. Ireland are not the best team in the world, and facts are we will lose games (and have lost games) where we have had plenty of chances to win the game and those bloody small margins like knock ons ruin the show. It happens.
What I can not accept or even understand is not having the required intensity to play test rugby. If nothing else a furious approach to physicality is the bare minimum I expect from a man or woman in a green shirt. It wasn’t even complacency – in the first half, from five minutes in, Ireland looked like they would rather be anywhere in the world than Murrayfield. Sorry BT Murrayfield. I half expected Schmidt to come out after the game and say someone had died such was the sombre mood throughout exuding from the Ireland players.
The most devastating was how easily Scotland disrupted Ireland’s line out ball. A huge amount of Ireland’s tries come from the line out (check out Murray Kinsella on twitter, his analysis on these kinds of things is exceptional) but Scotland put it under a lot of pressure. Ireland massively had the upper hand in the scrum however so I was a bit flummoxed at how many penalties in the 22 Ireland kicked to touch instead to taking a scrum (I’m a big fan of attacking scrums, I don’t think they’re used enough).
Likewise, while inaccuracy I can tolerate to an extent, the failure to adapt was again troubling. Rush defence causing problems? Maybe try stopping the flat passing and try a cheeky chip over the top? Struggling to hold onto the ball against your opponent’s counter rucking? Maybe stop shipping it slowing down the line and instead run some close phases for bit! And conversely when chasing the game and doing the one out rumbles, occasionally you are going to have to give it wide at some point. Ireland banged their head against the wall. It hurt, but decided the answer was “Bang harder stupid!”.
The biggest contrast in performance was perhaps Kearney vs Hogg. Both ran 104 metres ball in hand. Now while Kearney had one of his better attacking games of late, you will not find a bigger contrast in their impact on the game. I also feel that Van Der Flier should have been introduced earlier, possibly even at half time. It’s no coincidence that his arrival resulted in Ireland having much quicker attacking ball.
It will be very hard to win the tournament from here.
5. England France was a proper test match in that it was a proper test of my endurance OI OI SHABS #DARTSTHEME.
Let’s calm ourselves. The game was a tense and tight affair – do one was ever really too far in front or behind, which lends itself towards the dramatic. But the quality of play overall was very average – a lack of invention and variation. France were maybe marginally better with ball in hand, but otherwise it was a real bosh fest.
6. Which is perhaps an ironic complaint, as it was an injection of ENGLISH BEEF which helped secure the game for England. Longer term readers will know I have no great affection for James Haskell but he provided some real impetus off the bench, that changed the momentum and got England on the front foot. Also fair play to Ben Te’o, a man who I thought the dictionary definition of average for Leinster has now scored a test try for England. You can do anything if you put your mind to it.
MIKE BROWN WATCH: I nearly fell off my chair checking the Mr Angry’s K/P/R stats – 2/2/10. Brown passed the ball twice?? I must have been drunker than I thought!
While England were a tad lacklustre, no one really put their hand up did they. Wales and Italy (more later) shamed the very name of rugby football, they’ve beaten France and Ireland looked poor. Looks like that slam show down will happen earlier than we thought.
7. It really was the week of throwing my comments in my face as Scott Spedding was actually…good? Bloody hell mate, lay off it, you’re showing me up for the uninformed chump I am. France were better than they’ve been in a while, but I’m still not sold overall. England were pretty leaden, and yet, they overcame France without a tremendous amount of effort; the last 10 minutes had a huge air of inevitability to this neutral viewer. I think they’ll struggle to beat teams bar Italy, expecting reactions from Wales and Ireland. I remain resolute!
8. With Duncan Weir and Camille Lopez, are we witnessing the dawn of the tight head fly half? Christ almighty lads lay off the bench and doing some bloody cardio.
9. Sergio Parisse’s against the line inside pass. Blimey. Please excuse me for a moment while I go an adjust myself.
That aside, I might just start watching Italy games from the 60th minute onwards. Nothing like turning up to the pub to watch think “I’ve seen this episode of the Six Nations”. I desperately want Italy to do well, especially as they’re no longer even the sixth best European team. I mean look at their coaching team with Conor O’Shea, Brendan Venter (bringing that 2002 London Irish Powergen Cup winning vibe “There must be 15 Ryan Strudwick’s on the pitch!”) and Mike Bloody Catt! But the failings are repeated and all the more crushing for it. It’s ever more hard to watch. I mean, an injured George North limped through the entire team. How close do you think you could get to injured George North? I reckon I could get within 20 metres of him.
10. What was Wales’ excuse then? Despite an obliging Italy collapsing, Wales didn’t manage to secure the bonus point (in fairness due to some dogged Italian defending) in what was a really sputtering performance. At one point on the commentary Martyn Williams described a Wales try as something they’d practise in training – good to know Wales work on passing the ball slowly down the line one player at a time.
A big issue was, and I do try to avoid digging individuals out, but Biggar. His K/P/R figures of 9/14/6 belie a man who executed one successful chip over the top early on, and proceeding to try it again and again instead of making better use of possession. Sam Davies, former junior world player of the year, was far more effective at half back when he came on and got Wales moving forward much more effectively – his stats of 5/12/8 showing how he kept Italy honest with his own footwork which forced Italy away from a very effective press they had going in the first half.
Judging a team on their performance vs Italy is always a tough one. What’s the best case scenario? You batter them by 40+ points in a dull and lifeless game. But Wales will need significant uptake in performance to face England – they’ll be especially concerned about how easily the Italian pack dominated in the first half, as England will have more of the same this weekend.
Coming up – Ireland to bounce back vs Italy, England to edge a turgid game in Cardiff, Scotland to blitz France, almost throw it away, then win setting up an even bigger disappointment down the line.
The Jackalist 